I shared about some of my experience with shopping for a wedding dress on instagram (see the Wedding Planning highlight) but I wanted to put all of thoughts in a post about it; because I feel like what I thought about shopping for a wedding dress isn’t the ‘normal blogger’ experience. This is more about shopping for a wedding dress when you’re not a sample size.
After getting engaged one of the questions I got most often was if I had my dress yet. I wanted to be excited about trying on dresses but honestly I was more scared than excited. From what I could find online I just kept thinking I’m not going to fit into any of these dresses and it’s going to make my experience embarrassing or awkward. I was so nervous.
Day 1
I didn’t eat the first morning we went shopping. We had three stops lined up in Austin. I only had two people with me: my mom and a family friend who is like an aunt. I didn’t want a million people there because I frankly didn’t know what remarks everyone was going to make. I knew I was so stressed about this that the more people that were there the more ‘people managing’ I would have to do and I just wasn’t going to have the bandwidth to do that.
a&be (Austin)
a&be was our first stop and honestly this was the best place I could have ever picked to start at. I walked in, wanting to throw up, and they were so welcoming and nice it immediately put me at ease. We got seated and there was this sign on the wall that said “we’re here because you’re in love babe” and that calmed me a little – it really brought me back to the whole reason why I was there. I was there to find a dress that I was going to wear to marry TM, the man I love, who loves me no matter what I look like, no matter what size I am. It made me breathe a little easier. Kenzie was my consultant and she was amazing – chatted with me and put me at complete ease. She explained the process and then we started trying on dress. I thought I knew what I wanted and for the most part all my choices went along those lines. She encouraged me to try other styles and silhouettes on. Kenzie made me feel good in each dress I tried on – she clipped me into each dress with clips and a white fabric insert. She never made me feel like this was something abnormal or embarrassing. She also never made me go out of the room (where it was just her and I) unless she was sure I 100% wanted to show people.
Unbridaled (Austin)
Unbridaled was our second shop. This store was bigger than a&be but it was not my vibe. It has more boho, wild, keep Austin weird vibe and I was looking for the princess traditional vibe. Looking through the racks I definitely didn’t have a lot of choices but I used it as an opportunity to try on ‘out there’ dresses. This is where I almost had a nuclear meltdown. I had just put a dress on that I flat out didn’t like so we didn’t open the curtains to show my people. They were saying ‘why didn’t you show us’ and I just kept replying ‘because I didn’t like it!’ Then I was trying on a dress that was just not.going.over.my.hips. I was getting more and more embarrassed and frustrated. I finally told the consultant ‘look it’s just not going to work,’ so we tried going over my head instead. It went over my hips to an extent but it was still bunched around my middle so it definitely didn’t lay right and I was terrified to move. I had visions of me splitting this dress. Then we tried to put on the sleeves. The dress had long tight sleeves with glitter that had zero stretch. This wasn’t happening either. I was starting to hyperventilate. Then my people started telling me to show them the dress and I couldn’t say anything because I was about to start crying. I was so afraid to start because I thought if I did they would turn into sobs and it would ruin the dress. I was caring more about this damn sample size dress than myself. It was terrible. They kept asking why I wasn’t coming out and showing them and the consultant looked at me and I just shook my head and she was like okay I’ll let them know you’re not coming out. She slipped out the curtain and was running interference but I couldn’t get out of this damn dress that was causing me so much trouble. I had to wait on her to come back, just counting my breaths, concentrating on my feet on the ground, things I could smell, and telling myself everything was okay. I was a hair’s width away from having a full blown panic attack when she came back and helped me out of the dress. I left this store not wanting to eat ever again and wanting to crawl in bed and cry.
Day 2
We only had 1 store on the agenda for the day and it was smaller store. It was the day immediately after Day 1 so I was not in a great head space. My maid of honor was in town so she was able to come in addition to the two from the first day.
Amour Bridal (Cedar Park/Austin)
Amour Bridal is a smaller shop in Cedar Park. Was it as upscale as the shops downtown like unbridaled and a&be? No, but I felt immediately comfortable there. The dress selection here was more of what I thought dress shopping was going to look like. They had dresses separated into different styles and different sizes. They had an off the rack section and had extremely affordable prices. I left here with the dress that was a solid #1.
Day 3
Even though I had a solid pick from Amour Bridal I knew I still wanted to try on other dresses. I made an appointment at another shop that was different than the others I had been to. My mom was the only one who came with me to this one for a few different reasons: this was two weeks after the first round and my MOH was back in LA and the other friend wasn’t in town anymore.
Blue Bridal (Austin)
This store was different in that your stylist pulled the dresses for you. I didn’t love this situation but I figured if I didn’t like anything she pulled I would ask to go browse myself. She only pulled one by one. We were all in a dressing room, my mom, the consultant, and myself. I could hear another bride and what sounded like at least six people in another room. our consultant was wonderful, she listened to every comment and question I had. She was responsive and attentive. She had gotten married about a year prior and answered every question we pestered her with. Every dress I tried on made me feel like I was going to prom. Nothing felt like a wedding dress. At the end of the appointment I walked out thinking that was a great shop but nothing I tried on had beat out the dress from Amour.
Day 4
Our schedule for day 4 included a trip to Dallas and three shops. We scheduled appointments at three of the greatest Dallas bridal salons; I wanted to try on dresses that were more of the princess traditional royal wedding give me a freaking train dresses. Can someone give me a dress with a train please!?!?!
Neiman Marcus Bridal (Dallas)
Our first stop of the day was at the Bridal Salon at Neiman’s. We walked up and just stopped at the entrance because this was the greatest entrance to a bridal store. This exquisite Monique Lhuillier Secret Garden Dress was front and center and it had a train. Showstopper. We filled out the form and were introduced to our consultant: Kennedy. My two cents is that Kennedy and Kenize (from a&be) should be cherished and protected by their respective shops at all costs. Anyway, trying on dresses here was an experience all on it’s own. Kennedy made me feel amazing in every dress. She was aware of our budget and would tell me if I selected any dresses that was approaching our budget (yes the Secret Garden dress was WAY over but I still tried it on!) I never felt too big for a wedding dress sample size with Kennedy. She made everything look good and quite frankly I don’t know how she did it. I left here with my thoughts on two dresses; but I only took the name and information of one. The other I didn’t.
Warren Barron Bridal (Dallas)
We went to Warren Barron next. This shop was beautiful too, layed out perfectly and FULL of natural light. This ended up being key. I tried on a lot of dresses here and they had some that gave me all the drama I was looking for and more: I tried a high neck dress, one with a slit up to my thigh, and a greenery printed dress. It was an experience I was looking for. At this store I was given a bustier – I wasn’t sold on wearing it but I was also sometimes grateful for it. If you’re uncomfortable with your consultant or anyone else in your room then definitely ask if the store has one or bring one. The consultant here was super nice but she was a little new and I felt like I was doing most of the talking. I also felt like I was the one who was really getting in and out of the dresses myself. I’m 5’9″ and she about a foot shorter than me so it wasn’t really an option to have her help pull dresses over my head. I never once felt big or awkward or out of place. Warren Barron made me feel good in every dress and not being a sample size didn’t kill any wedding dress shopping vibes. I ended up pulling and trying on a dress that I loved. It wasn’t until I had it on that I realized it was the dress from Neiman’s that I didn’t get the name/information of! It looked completely different in the natural light and honestly; the light is what sold me on the dress. I left Warren Barron thinking oh man that dress is back on the table and I think it definitely kicks the Amour dress out of the water.
Stanley Korshak Bridal Salon (Dallas)
The last shop we had scheduled was at Stanley Korshak. We walked in and the first thought I had was that this place was HUGE. It’s two floors and there are dresses all over. I think it took 15 minutes to simply walk through the dresses and pull them. The consultant we had here was perfectly pleasant but was giving off some vibes that I wasn’t what she expected. I got the vibe that she didn’t think we should be there and I had no clue why. She heard where we had been that day so knew that there were definitely dresses in my budget in the store; so in my tried and true self destructive tendency I went back to my size. Oh great she thinks I’m fat. Especially when I looked at the other two brides in the store, obviously sample sizes and wedding dress shopping. I had pulled some outstanding dresses and she just made the process uncomfortable. She didn’t help me into the dresses, she didn’t help me out of the dresses, and she didn’t even try to zip or clip me into anything. Not a single one. I wanted to look beautiful in these dresses; I had pulled a Vera Wang dress to try on. I’ve wanted to try on a Vera Wang dress since the first time I opened a wedding magazine in middle school and it was such a let down. I asked for some water, because the room we were in was like in the very back and either didn’t have AC or the AC wasn’t working great but it only had a fan and we were sweating. (Again the negative thoughts started did she put us in the back because she didn’t want anyone to see us?) When she left to get some water I was able to pull the zipper up as much as I could so I could pretend I was secured in the dress to complete my grade school dream. None of the dresses here were winners and you know there might have been one but how would I ever know if I never got fully zipped and secured in them? If you’re wedding dress shopping and not a sample size this might not be the best place to start. Maybe it was just a one off but I don’t know.
The Dress
We ended up going back to Neiman’s and Kennedy and trying on the two dresses from the morning. I put the one that I had tried on there and at Warren Barron and I just started crying. I didn’t think I was ever going to feel that! I still feel like it was silly but I just couldn’t help it! I felt like a bride and I felt… beautiful, simply beautiful. I still get giddy when I look at the pictures we took of my dress – no one has seen it except my mom, our wedding planner, and myself. I can’t wait for TM to see it : )
Bottom Line
If you’re going wedding dress shopping when you’re not a sample size and you’re scared about it remember that’s okay. You also should know that there are going to be good consultants and bad ones. A good one is going to make you feel like a million dollars in every single dress. If you get a consultant that doesn’t make you feel comfortable, leave. It’s not worth it. Trust me, almost crying in a try on space sucks. Take a breath and a break whenever you need to. Only bring people who are going to make you feel good about yourself. Trust your instincts and if you need to go back and try on dresses do it. Don’t stop until you’re satisfied you’ve found YOUR dress.
a&be had a decal on the mirrors in their try on rooms that I kept looking at throughout my dress process. I think it’s important for everyone going dress shopping or trying on wedding dresses when you’re not a sample size or if you’re just nervous about it to remember:
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