To Bachelorette Party or to Not
That’s the question isn’t it? Should you have a bachelorette party or not? And if you do then what do you do, where do you go, how much do you ask people to spend? I made a pretty severe decision to those questions about having a bachelorette party.
TLDR: I didn’t.
When I sat down to see when I could go on a bachelorette party, where I could go, who would go with me, and what we would do, I got super overwhelmed. I mean, I didn’t have enough vacation time to go on a flipping honeymoon but I was going to prioritize time off for, let’s be honest, what amounts to simply a girls trip? I also couldn’t stomach asking for my bridal party and other friends to shell out a pretty penny to meet for a long weekend somewhere. Everyone would had to have driven or flown somewhere and I just didn’t want to do that. I was already asking bridesmaids to pay for dresses and a hotel for the wedding weekend and I just felt BAD.
A few of my bridesmaids wouldn’t have been able to come or afford to come anyway and I didn’t want to make anyone feel left out. And every time I go on a bachelorette party there are always people you don’t know because you know the bride from work or school or family and the others know her some other way. Can you make friends with them? Of course, but it’s just exhausting. I’d rather go on a girls trip or spend a weekend with a friend and be able to have fun with them specifically or with that group. I’ll probably end up taking a long weekend this year to go somewhere with one of my bridesmaid’s and maybe another long weekend with my maid of honor in wine country.
This didn’t have anything to do with age – I was 33/34 during my engagement and I never felt like I was ‘too old’ for a bachelorette party. I can party with the best of them so if you’re thinking you’re too old to do that stuff you’re not. Do what you want to do. If you want a wild bachelorette party and you’re in your 40’s then do it!
I thought I was going to feel like I didn’t get the full experience of being a bride or that I was going to feel as if my wedding experience was less than in some way but honestly I don’t. If you’re feeling stressed about having to plan a bachelorette party or having to pay for one or for any other reason know that you don’t have to have a bachelorette party. You are allowed to simply NOT HAVE ONE and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it!
TM felt the same way, he didn’t have a bachelor party, but he’s got a guys weekend trip planned this year. Neither of us feel we made the wrong choice in deciding not to have those trips.
