Have you ever heard a superior tell you to “choose your attitude”? I used to be one of a group that would get told this all the time. It never came off in a positive way – it always seemed more of a dismissal of feelings. Oh you’re upset about anything? Choose to be happy. Oh you don’t like how you’re being treated? Choose to not care. Oh you’ve had a bad day? Choose to be positive. It felt more of a don’t show your frown – smile immediately.
We were told to ‘choose’ our attitude because everyone felt awful, downtrodden, and dismissed in that workplace and they just didn’t want to hear about how we felt. Yes, it was a toxic work environment.
It took a while to figure out that that dismissal of feelings isn’t what that advice is about. Choosing your attitude is all about embracing your feelings and recognizing that you CAN choose to feel something different. It’s about being AWARE of how you feel and knowing the EFFECT your attitude can have on your and others.
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference
Sir Winston Churchill
How to Choose Your Attitude
Recognize your Current Attitude – is it positive or negative? Are you mad, angry, sad, upset, pissed?
Feel that Entire Attitude – let yourself feel that whole attitude. Why are you feeling sad? What is causing you to feel pissed off? Recognize the catalyst for that feeling.
Determine if that’s the Attitude you need to be Currently Feeling – is that feeling warranted? Did you take something out of context or maybe understood it incorrectly? Can you address the catalyst you recognized above?
Choose to Keep or Change your Attitude – after you’ve explored that feeling decide if you need to change it or not. Maybe you don’t need to quit being angry! Maybe you need to be sad for a little longer or maybe you don’t. The point is that once you recognize what you’re feeling, feel that feeling, and determine if you need to feel that way, that you get to make the decision to choose what your attitude is.
