Do you ever think about work when you’re at home? Oh I need to remember to file that, draft this, call them… Or maybe you think about home when you’re at work? Maybe it’s both! If any of that sounds remotely familiar then this discussion is for you. Here are 8 signs you have no work / life balance…
Hi my name is Katherine and until I moved jobs I had no work / life balance. Seriously, I wouldn’t leave the office until way late, I wasn’t doing anything except work/eat/sleep, I never turned my phone off, my anxiety was through the roof, and I was getting sick. I just thought I wasn’t doing enough; like I was slacking, and as soon as I could get my sh*t together then everything would fall into place and magically get better. Blind right? Even typing that I can see that my work / life balance was off… way off. But I couldn’t then. I was so engulfed in all of it that I couldn’t see the root of the problem because I didn’t know there was a problem to look for!
8 Signs you have No Work / Life Balance
When was the last time you turned off your phone? Not just kept it on silent or no vibrate but actually powered it down? If you can’t remember then you’ve got a problem. If your job requires you to always be connected or always available then you no longer have a life. TM is always on call, always. He brings his laptop on vacations and if we’re going somewhere without cell service, like a hike, there had to be a contingency plan. When we went to Colorado I asked him to leave the laptop and the responsibilities at home. He loved it. We turned off our phones for hours at a time (could have been days but we needed them to navigate!) and it was bliss. You need to be able to power off your phone; I know your job does not pay you to work 24/7.
The events I’m talking about are big ones: a kid’s recital or sports game, a date night, family birthday, cupcake store opening… okay maybe not the last one unless you take your cupcakes seriously. Did I take this straight out of the second Sex and the City movie? You betcha. When Miranda walks in and gets to see her kid win first place for his science experiment – THAT IS GOLD. And that is what you should be able to do. If you are regularly missing important events you need to rethink how you can be present in those crucial moments.
You might just have a baseline hot temper but think: have you been quick(er) to boil over lately? Always being ‘on’ is going to take a toll on how you process and react to things that make you angry. If you never have time to rest your fuse is going to get shorter and shorter and that isn’t good for anyone: you, your family, coworkers, and even your career. Part of a work / life balance is having time for you in your life.
Speaking of you, take a minute to think about if you’ve been anxious. Do the Sunday scaries start creeping in on Friday? Do you think about all the things that could go wrong if you’re not able to do the thing on Monday you know you will be able to do? Are you in a heightened level of anxiety all the time? That is terrible for your body! Your anxiety levels staying high is not normal.
We’ve touched on anger and anxiety so let’s round it out: are you always tired even though you get sleep? Are you always stressed or maybe even in physical pain? Does your back always hurt, do your temples throb, do your shoulders twinge? Your body is trying to tell you that the path you’re on is not a normal one and it could be very bad. It’s basically screaming at you to get off the computer and get away from work and take time to release all that stress.
These health issues are more serious complaints that a twingy shoulder; I’m referring to high blood pressure or serious migraines, perhaps infections brought on by serious stress levels. Your body starts screaming when you push it too far. Listen to it. Seek medical attention and then get some rest. Away from work.
When was the last time you called your parents? Grandparents? Childhood friend? Would your significant other know you existed if not for the unmade side of the bed? Remember when you last had happy hour with college pals? Everyone has those people where you could pick up right where you left off even if it’s been three years but that shouldn’t be the norm for your life. If your relationships are struggling because work if always getting in the way then that is a clear sign that you have no work / life balance.
Do you have a hobby? No, sleep does not count. Barely finishing two pages of a book before you pass out from exhaustion doesn’t count either. What brings you joy? Yoga? Painting? Hiking? Yodeling? Remember what you used to do when you had time? Why don’t you have time now… is the answer work?
Recognizing you have no work / life balance is difficult when you’re in the thick of it. But it’s very important to see it because you can’t change until you know. I didn’t know until I was starting my new job and I realized that people don’t work until 8pm every day! Or that bosses shouldn’t require you to give up your weekend just so you can show your face at the office. Or that you should be able to take a vacation without feeling like you’re going to miss something. Figuring out if your work / life balance is due to you or because of your office is important but that’s a different discussion. For now, learn the signs and be on the lookout.
